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Showing posts from December, 2017

The Year in Review: Remembering versus Regretting

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I think it is natural that when we think back on our past that we easily remember the difficult or painful times; those times where we messed up, felt pain or simply made the wrong choice.  We don't seem to remember the joyful moments of our past as easily; but rather have to stop and remind ourselves of those moments.
I believe this is natural. Our animal mind is built to remember the pain, not to dwell upon it with regret, but to recall the lesson learned. My mother used to tell a story, I was reaching to touch the element on the stove top, which of course would burn me if I did. She tapped my hand and told me no, yet I continued to try. She said I was so stubborn the back of my hand was red from her attempts to stop me…  but I touched it anyway.  She remembers the pain she felt trying to stop a stubborn child, the red on my hand. I don't recall any of that but do remember the feel of burned fingers. I learned very fast not to touch the hot burner on the stove. A simple lesso…

Family Time

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I spent most of my adult life working hard to provide for my family.  I thought that was the role I was to play... The provider.  I did the job well for the most part, except I realized I spent most of those years wrapped up in my career as a priority.  I worked too hard, too many hours, too much time away.  I made money, got promotions, gained prestige in my workplace.  I did many things right, but where were my priorities?
I am older and I hope a little wiser.  2017 has taught me a few lessons, the most important of which is the importance of family.  I was there for some of the formative events and times in the lives of my children.  I coached little league and went to school plays, but as I look back, I don't give myself high scores on being as good a father as I could have been. Yet, they still love me and support me for all my failings (and there are a few).  I wont focus on those, but rather on where to next...
I am still young enough to learn and change.  I can take the time…

The 3 G's: Continued - Growth

This is the last of the three G's but not the end of my blog efforts.  I am just beginning.  By giving this I grow.   Enjoy...
Growth - If you have been following the posts thus far, you will see growth mentioned in a minor way for both Gratitude and Giving.  The definition of love that I referenced from Scott Peck’s, The Road Less Traveled includes nurturing one’s own growth.  In short, I believe that if you are not growing, you are dying.  While death is inevitable, I don’t aspire to it in my daily life. Growth requires a bit of self-love. As with gratitude we have to see ourselves as having value to begin with, but even more importantly we see ourselves as having potential.  We begin to see what we can be, if we only try.  For many this may be the hardest part, but I do believe that each of us has gifts and talents.  Each of us has worth inherent within us.  Further, each of us has the potential to be more than what we are today.
So how do we “grow” ourselves? For me, some growth …

The 3G's: Continued - Giving

Giving -  As you begin to see the blessings in your life, it gets easier to give of yourself to others.  Giving as I see it in this situation is not simply making a monetary donation to a church or charity. Giving is putting yourself out for the benefit of another.  It is a way to express your care, concern and love for those around you.  I like the definition of love that I read once. “I define love thus: The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth.” ― M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth. As I talk of Giving, it is this thought of love that comes to mind; extending one’s self for the growth of someone else.  This is a selfless act. Gratitude looks as self - Giving looks outside of self.  As you begin to see your life as one of abundance, you begin to share that with those around you. Giving is sharing your time, talent and/or resources.  Even if you ha…

The 3 G's: Gratitude - Giving - Growth

The three Gs have been referenced several times by gurus of self help and motivation. I can’t recall where I heard them the first time, but they continue to come up in conversation.  For me they are presented in order, but they don’t always happen that way.  Each contributes to the other as they become a part of your life. I won't attempt to claim them as my own creation but I do claim them in my life.  By practicing them daily, I have found peace and happiness in my life that was missing before. I want to share some of my thoughts for your benefit and invite your responses, because it is through community that we all grow.

Gratitude - It all begins with Gratitude. Gratitude is more than just saying thank you, it is a mindset or a way of seeing the blessings in the world around you.  Gratitude is a quality of life that affects the quality of life.  It does take some effort to achieve Gratitude as a frame of mind as opposed to simply an action.  As you develop the quality of gratitu…